Originally

We all have stories from this past year.

My story is an honest iteration of what thousands of hotel General Managers experienced when the industry crashed beneath us, weaved with an opportunistic traveler’s tale of today.

When our world stopped in its tracks last year, I felt a strong internal struggle beyond anything I’d felt before. As a hotel General Manager, I became chief of safety, security, financial stability, guest experience, team member satisfaction, life coach, therapeutic counselor, revenue generator, liability controller and more. But wait, isn’t that just the everyday job in the life of a hotel GM? Yes it is. But this was seemingly different.

I became a window watcher, looking to see if the next car driving by might actually pull into our lot. I became a paper pusher, spending hours upon hours crossing my t’s and dotting my i’s to make sure I not only re-trained the expectations of safety well to my team, but that I put the proper notices that no one reads up in the common areas and filed my paperwork properly for the inevitable lawsuit our industry could almost definitely anticipate as the pandemic wore on and people needed an outlet for blame. I became a counselor, listening and giving guidance to the frustrations of team members who at times, appeared to believe I wasn’t actively living a pandemic lifestyle myself and instead I was some incredible anomaly in the world!

It was exhausting, yet my hotel was down to 5 rooms sold per night. How does that happen? Traditionally we could turn a 138-room hotel without a hitch. We were out of our flow and we were battling to find it again. Prior to the pandemic we had reached the top 5.8% of the Hilton Garden Inn brand for Overall Guest Experience. Now, our servers were making mistakes, our housekeepers were missing critical steps in our guest rooms and we had people working in departments they didn’t even know existed!

Morale hit an all-time low and the effects of the pandemic engulfed us. There was no separation in the early days of the pandemic because even though we could clock out and leave the hotel, there was no change in our daily life. Even when the small group of team members worked day in and day out to lift each other’s spirits, there were still the few travelers coming through who were miserable because they too, were living the life of a pandemic.

The ways in which we communicated, celebrated and showcased appreciation for one another suddenly became the very things that had to stop. Gathering in the back office each morning for our daily huddle, $100 for Employee of the Month celebrations, surprise cake parties for a team member’s birthday. It all had to stop for a moment in time. If it involved gathering or discretionary spending in any form, it was removed from our operations and instead replaced with masks that covered our welcoming smiles and hand sanitizer that we bathed in any time we looked at a guest even though we knew hand shaking was a thing of the past.

We desperately needed business in order to sustain both our operations and our sanity but in the same breath I wanted to lock the front doors and tell everyone to go away so I could maintain the slightest bit of control in a world that had lost all of it. I felt the emotional and mental tug of responsibility to keep the business afloat financially while maintaining the safety of our team and hotel guests, all while balancing the never-ending childcare pressures of school closures and remote learning.

I did always host a magic 8 ball on my desk which I referenced emphatically every budget season, but now I needed sunglasses to cover my eye rolling for each person that asked me when things would go back to normal! I couldn’t stop team members from gathering outside of work. I couldn’t stop travelers from traveling. I couldn’t stop schools from closing and I certainly couldn’t stop my heart from aching or the tears from flowing when we were forced to furlough over 90% of our staff overnight.

It was in this very moment on March 19, 2020 that I no longer cared about our travelers and their experiences in the same ways I once did. I cared only for the team members who now worried how they would pay their rent, the team members who called regularly to see when they might be able to return to work because they missed the hotel and its great people within, and the team members who volunteered to reduce their pay in order to help their co-workers and for the 7 team members remaining on staff helping us fight the battle so that we could get to a point of welcoming the rest of our team back. Boy did I care deeply for all of them. I was disciplined in my efforts to keep them safe, particularly our 7 remaining, recognizing that if one went down, we were in trouble.

The effort, connectedness, dedication, loyalty, tenacity, pivoting, adaptability, resiliency and trust that I witnessed within this small team has forever changed my outlook on leadership, guest experience and hospitality as a whole.

In the earliest of days, a guest coming in without a mask and refusing to put one on upon request? LEAVE! I’d be lying if I said we didn’t need your business, but safety has been and will continue to be, top priority. You want to complain that our lobby grille and bar is closed to in-room dining? CALL THE GOVERNOR and stop yelling at our Executive Chef who has been working the dish pit like he’s just beginning the ladder climb of his career. You want stayover service even though the hotel is asking you to reconsider to better protect you and the hotel staff? Fine, just ask, but DON’T berate our Executive Housekeeper in the hallway who has been working 80+ hours a week physically cleaning rooms, inspecting them, battling the disrupted supply chain and making sure our cleaning practices are exceeding standards set forth by our brand, all while being informed that the next room she cleans has a departing guest that has had direct exposure to Covid19 patients.

What didn’t you know as you were berating her? She is just as scared as you are that you’re in our hotel during a Global Crisis, but in order to feed her 4 children, she’s going to thank you and continue on with her day all while trying not to take your remarks personally. Easier said than done. At least the mask can hide what otherwise would have required a smile from her too!

There’s a whole other set of travelers and hotel guests who offset these fairly regular nasty occurrences, and they came from our front-line workers. This group of amazing people saved my faith in humanity! They breathed air into our hotel at a time when all was stagnant. They gave us a sense of purpose, some level of normalcy and a release from the Groundhog Day’s approach to life. For months we watched medical professionals stagger in through the vestibule, doggedly tired, with signs of mask lines all over their temples and burn-like marks on the bridges of their nose just above the refreshed mask they put on to enter with.

Despite all the pain, suffering and sacrifices they were seeing and experiencing first-hand, they were so grateful to have a safe, clean place to rest their mind albeit short visits and they fought through the exhaustion to express it.  Every “thank you” we received from these heroes, fueled our capacity to support one another and our community and I couldn’t be more grateful for this experience. These particular people unknowingly helped me keep my team together at a time when so many were departing the industry, and also gave us the base business we so desperately needed in order to call back team members earlier in the pandemic than much of our industry as a whole.

As the months roll on and we find ourselves closer to herd immunity, I’ve recognized my hesitation to resume normal activities even in a safe manner on a personal level. While travel restrictions to Maine have eased, up until recently I couldn’t imagine myself driving to New Hampshire and back because there’s still a PANDEMIC! I admit, without going into a rabbit hole, I’ve been a bit excessive in my response both professionally and personally. My husband undoubtedly agrees! However, it’s the only sense of control I could maintain and the one area I felt confident in that I could always say “well at least I took all the right precautions” if somewhere things went sideways on me. I have felt this way right up through last week.            

Last week I unexpectedly shifted into a traveler’s mindset as I unapologetically boarded a flight to Atlanta to tend to my Mom. I didn’t have time to rationalize or pros and cons it like I do everything else in life.

Like so many others, my Mom lost her job after 41 years of service due to the implications of Covid19. I hadn’t seen or spent time with my Mom despite our 2 miles of separation day in and day out for a year. She was considered high risk and I was spending my days on the front lines with our team and hotel guests. I couldn’t afford the mental burden of jeopardizing her safety too.

I ached every time I heard my daughter’s Minnie Mouse voice end a call with, “I miss you Mimi, when will I be able to see you again?” I felt like I was withholding a fundamental relationship from continuing at a critical age and a grandparent’s right…another tug.   I cringed every time a team member shared their pleasures of seeing family. Due to my personal experiences I had misplaced anger, frustration and judgement over what I deemed to be selfish acts of gathering.

However, when my Mom lost her job this past February, she lost a bit of herself. It was her first and only employer, ever. It was her identity for as long as I can recall.  I, myself grew up at her place of employment. I remember walking by the receptionist’s desk barely able to see over the counter, just knowing the Tootsie Roll Pops would be stocked and ready for me. I remember the Bring Your Daughter to Work days where I would sit eloquently at a work station and hole punch endless stacks of paper while the office employees wandered over to dote on me. I remember my Mom’s boss writing me a personal check for my first round of books when I entered college and I remember the endless friendships my Mom made during her tenure which was best reflected in my wedding guest list! It pained me to hear the hurt in my Mom’s voice when she shared the news of her separation.

This became a turning point. My Mom was done playing it safe despite pleadings to wait until she was vaccinated. She used up the last of the timeshare and made the conscious decision to hop on a plane to Pompano Beach, FL to regain some of her independence. She had never traveled alone and she quickly realized her somewhat abrupt travel had placed her in the heart of spring break crowds. Although a bit disappointed, she chose to avoid the beaches that were mobbed with unmasked, shoulder to shoulder strangers and instead relaxed at the resort which, according to her feedback, did a great job following CDC guidelines in masking, distancing and sanitation (thank you Club Wyndham Palm-Aire for keeping my Mom safe!).

I had a rush of emotions when I first learned she was going to travel before vaccination, before restrictions were lifted and before I had the opportunity to reconnect with her. Again, I had to check myself and recognize with appreciation that she was going through a life-altering situation and that her decision to travel in this moment in time was out of my control. Not to mention, she is my mother after all and while I don’t always play the daughter card well, there was something about this process that made me step off my high horse and back into my designated role!

Again, I felt that familiar tugging sensation.

How is it that I am in desperate need for travel to rebound back to pre-pandemic levels, because quite literally, that is how I earn a living and what I need to feed my family, yet I can say so clearly and without hesitation, “no Mom, it’s not safe for you to travel”?

I’ve spent every day vigilantly strategizing and reinventing ways to lead our teams to success in our hotels, how we can shift market share, what creativity we can leverage to evolve profitability. I feel so much guilt in asking others to travel for my direct benefit when I’m telling my own family not to travel. Is it because deep down I wish everyone would just stay home for a few weeks, masked, distanced and in full supply of toilet paper? Very honestly- probably. However, I know that’s not the way in which our economy will survive. The very real and down to earth business sense kicks in and reminds me that’s not a realistic, productive or sustainable approach and without travel, we will not prosper.

My mom, along with several hotels named here within at the end of my blabbering, rescued me from my own woes I battled internally. I have always cherished travel, but I know and understand the inner workings of hotels. I expect similarly to hospitals, it doesn’t matter how incredible the safety and sanitation standards are. It all boils down to human implementation and oversight. Just because I was a self-dubbed crazy safety queen at my hotel, doesn’t mean the next hotel prioritized safety over profit. It didn’t mean that employees and guests of other locations were following the standards set forth. I say this because the industry was forced into a survival mindset overnight. Suddenly the cost of doing business in an industry with narrow margins pre-pandemic, just became a burden on all Owners with limited to no time to prepare.

My Mom departed Florida after an uneventful but relaxing trip alone. She made it to Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport in Georgia and that’s when I no longer heard from her. She was supposed to notify me when she boarded her next plane destined for Portland, ME and instead all I received was radio silence. I actually figured she was annoyed with me for badgering her with all my safety requirements to check for, so I went to bed.

I awoke the next morning to no signs of my Mom. I called and left messages for her to no avail. By 9am I had reached out to family to see if she had made any contact but just as I was sending my last message, I heard a familiar beep that sent my heart racing- a message from my Mom. She was in Atlanta Medical Center and would be in touch soon. WHAT?! I was sent straight into panic mode and straight back to Kindergarten, working mentally through the 4 other W’s since I now figured out the Where.

I don’t even know what came over me. I’m usually very calculated but within 20 minutes I had canceled my morning meetings, booked a flight and hotel for my husband and I, packed who knows what for who knows how long and enlisted help to watch our children and our dogs. My husband and I later celebrated the amount of travel we’ve done in our time together because aside from being 1 pair shy of underwear (thank goodness for guest laundry services) I hadn’t missed a beat in our packing!

We understood by the time we left Portland, ME for Atlanta, GA that my Mom had fallen in the airport, but we had no idea to what extent. My mind was so foggy from fear that it wasn’t until I was on the airplane shoulder to shoulder with no social distancing in place, that I realized I was on an airplane shoulder to shoulder with no social distancing in place. Hah! I looked over at my husband who surely read my mind and the largest smirk came over his face. He knew right then that I was seeing myself as the biggest hypocrite of all time.

I sat the entire duration in silence. I thought about all the travelers that had come through our doors at the hotel. Those (yes, including the unpleasant personalities) who I never had the opportunity to connect with personally to understand the reasonings behind their travel. I thought about what the airline crew might have felt like as they ushered passenger after passenger on the plane, or the hotel guest service agent that welcomed us to our first property in Atlanta, separated by just a piece of plexi-glass and a mask, knowing I just came off the jam-packed airplane.

Were they judging me for traveling? Or were they happy that I was spending my money in a way that kept them employed? Did they have the same balancing act in their minds and hearts that I’ve carried with me for a year now? Were they grounded in fear or were they confident in their new norm of operations? So many questions flooded my mind yet my eyes couldn’t stop darting around in an effort to verify safety!

It turned out that my Mom had earned herself an orbital fracture when she clumsily tripped over her own luggage at the airport, which meant we weren’t hopping on a return flight home like we initially planned. Instead, we decided to rent a car and drive back to Maine (let’s be honest, it was also a bit of a selfish decision knowing I could now control the show!).

Despite my career in travel and tourism, and easy access to discounted hotel rates worldwide thanks to Hilton; a brand that really strives to appreciate not only its team members but also the many friends and family members associated with their team members, my Mom had never really traveled anywhere aside from Florida. This was an opportunity of a lifetime- road trip! Hey, you already have an orbital fracture, stitches under your eyebrow that will leave a scar to remember this by, glasses that no longer sit on your face quite right and a heart wrenching black and blue that takes up the entire side of your face and might leave others with concerns of human smuggling, why not make the best of the situation through a little travel and exploration? Onward.

We took our time and stopped at the hotels listed below. With a little recommendation coming in from my own hotel Owner, we drove all 105 beautiful miles of Skyline Drive through Virginia. In each location my husband and I set my Mom up for rest and from there we safely explored the surrounding areas. I want to commend these properties and the leadership within, for giving me confidence in traveling again. The Hilton brand set some industry leading cleaning standards fairly early on in this pandemic and I truly appreciate from one hotelier to another, the level of consistency these hotels offered in the guest experience.  I couldn’t have been more pleased with the safety measures that were in place and the many team members who welcomed us warmly with a genuine sense of hopefulness that our industry is on the mend. And from one traveler to another, get out there and explore what the world has to offer. Life is too short. Travel will expand your horizons, warm your soul and fill your heart with empathy if you let it, all while getting people back to work. Just be sure to bring plenty of masks, sanitizer, a tape measurer and extra underwear!

                                                                                                                       -Jess

Special thanks to:

Hilton Garden Inn Atlanta Downtown
Hilton Garden Inn Roanoke
Capital Hilton
Homewood Suites by Hilton Newburgh-Stewart Airport